The Swedes play Chicken (aka lessons one can take away thus far in Sweden)

Almost half way into my stay in Sweden I would like to take the opportunity to reflect on the top ten things I have learnt thus far (and do they translate into everyday life):

- in no particular order -

1. Swedes play chicken. As in - if you are on the footpath, or in the supermarket or anywhere (apart from the road) and you see someone coming towards you - don't move out of the way. AT ALL. Seriously, when I first got here I was dodging people left, right and centre and then I realised that the buggers were never moving for me. I was summarily enlightened on the Swedes aversion to giving way to anyone. I mean, that would be polite - which apparently the Swedes are not, on the whole, renowned for. I don't mean in a Japanese there are millions of us squished into one tiny area so this is how we roll. This is - "I can see you 100 metres away and technically (as there are four of us spreading out on the footpath) we should move for you but bugger you kind of not moving".

Lesson: Always stand your ground, you may bump into the other person but they'll be almost expecting it - nay- respect you for it.

2. You are not invincible  In NZ because we have an easier liquor law we tend to think that 2 glasses is by no means a blood/alcohol level that could possibly impair you. She'll be right mate I've only had a couple.

However, try having 2 glasses of vino, hopping on a bike and you will realise just how much alcohol actually affects you.

Lesson: You are most definitely boozed after 2 glasses no matter what the voices in your head are saying. And you may not always have a dandelion bush to soften your fall (refer to previous blog post).

3. Pee before you leave the house: There is only one toilet in Skellefteå township which is public and appropriate for use i.e. you know that dodgy toilet that you HAVE to use on SH1 and you think needs cleaning up. That is heaven compared to public toilet here.

Lesson: Learn your environment BEFORE you get stuck in an uncomfortable situation.

4. Sometimes a phallic statue is just that: OK, just admit it - sometimes you look at artwork and thing - gosh that looks like a .... or a .... Well my first time in Skelleftea township I look over at this statue and I'm like that looks like a penis. Then Ida said to me " this is a statue that represents a phallus". I was like, you're shitting me. Then she said, no , but for goodness sakes don't say it looks like a penis. I was like, hang on - you're telling me it's meant to represent a phallus but not a penis - which is essentially , given the correct moment in time, the same thing. Yes was the answer. Ok says I.

Lesson: Sometimes giving something a fancy name does not detract away from the fact that the town you live in , quite on purpose, has a statue representing a penis. A rose by any other name...

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phallus just in case you're interested.

It is not unusual to see people posing this phallic statue

5. Extra heaters in cars are not a rangi way of fixing the heat: coming from NZ and the great culture of "she'll be right just use a bit of duct tape" I hop into some Swedish cars in the front passenger seat, look down and see a plug socket. With a heater attached. I just think - ah well fair enough easier than buying a new car.

Apparently it's not just a rangi way of fixing the heat in a car. In winter it gets so damn cold sometimes you need EXTRA car heaters in the north. Why not put them in properly you ask? Well... because not all cars made are directly for the North of Sweden. They also have to plug their cars into little car heater things during winter as well.

Lesson: Don't automatically assume the reason for something  - you may not have the full frame of reference.

6. NZ really needs to up the ante on our download speeds It is ridiculous how quickly it takes for things to download here not only that but it is far cheaper here than in NZ.

Lesson: no lesson but I am glad I'm going to have another year at least of fast download speeds in Canada!

7. Do I really giving a flying...? Away from Auckland and separated from pretty much everything I know its been easier to decide whether I give a crap about something or not. In the end I have learnt thus far not to sweat the small stuff... and its all small stuff. I've also learnt a thing or two about how I let people treat me and my expectations of those around me. I said to Ida about a situation the other day , "let's be honest do you really want to hear about (*insert particular drama) from this person? Ask yourself - do you honestly giving a flying ....?" It sounds so simple yet so often I have found myself worrying about things and people that if I boiled it down, I really don't care that much about - this then takes time away from the things and people I DO care about.

Lesson: Cut the dead weight, pay attention to the things and people you really care about. The rest is just noise to be blanked out.

8. Every nation has their "Marmite". I.e. the food everyone else not born of the country hates. Most of us Kiwis love our Marmite. I was trying to explain the comforting goodness I experience when I have a Milo and some Vogels toast with butter and Marmite. I had a fake Marmite here Our Mate - it smelt the same but the rest was just a big disappointment. However - managed to get some people to smell it. They said it was the most disgusting thing they had ever smelt. And this is from the people that love sour,smelly fish - (Surströmming) which to be fair I managed to avoid having the last time it was being eaten.

Surströmming

This makes me so homesick I feel like licking the computer screen

Lesson: Never diss something that someone loves just because you don't like it - there will be something you love that they cannot understand and this is true for everyone just get on board, try it once and keep your mouth shut.

9. Sweden doesn't believe in post shops: At all - I've got stuff to send home and do you think for the life of me that I can find any sort of packaging/ system/shop. I have trekked EVERYWHERE -  I have one more hope left so we shall see how that pans out. So anyone who knows they're getting a little package I'm sorry - its coming unless Willy Wonka makes good on his promise to be able ship things physically by TV.

Lesson: Just because a country is left leaning and has post boxes doesn't mean they have an actual post office you can go to.



10. You are never too old to climb statues. One of our forays into town and the only night club we met a local singing pop star. As we all cycled away from town I spotted a statue. I yelled out "OOO statue photo" Maturity is key here. Bless his heart Funky Dan as he is known promptly follows me to the statue and poses in front of it. Looking around , he wonders, where has the Kiwi gone. Meanwhile in front taking the photo the Swede Ida is in stitches as she notes the Kiwi not posing in front of , but rather climbing up onto, the statue. Funky Dan promptly followed suite.

Lesson: There are two lessons to be learnt here. One - the ancient art of statue climbing is definitely Kiwi/Australian past time not quite jumped onto by the rest of the world ..... yet.... and Two -  no matter how hard you try , sometimes , you just have grab the moment, be immature, and have a good giggle.

Me and Funky Dan